HAVING SEX - Respekt

How do I put on a condom?

Step by step:

Step 1: Always check the expiration date on the wrapper – if it is too old it might break!

Step 2: When the penis is erect, it is time to put the condom on.

Step 3: Open the wrapper and take out the condom. Be careful when handling the condom so it doesn’t break. Don’t pull on it too hard.

Step 4: The condom can only be rolled on in one direction – so make sure it is the right way up. The rim should be on the outside so it looks like a little hat.

Step 5: Pinch the little air filled tip of the condom, thereby letting out the air and leaving room for any potential sperm that is ejected during ejacutation.

While still pinching the tip of the condom, place it on the tip of the penis

Step 6: Keep pinching the tip of the condom with one hand, unroll the condom down the shaft of the penis with the other hand. The condom has to unroll all the way down to the part of the penis closest to the body (the root).

Step 7: You are now ready to have safe sex

* Note: If the condom is broken you can’t use it.

How do I take off a condom?

1. After ejaculation, hold the condom at the base of your penis and pull out while the penis is still erect.
2. Then, tie the condom into a knot to ensure that no contents are spilled.

When is the right age to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and to start having sex?

In Kenya, the consensual age to have sex by law is 18 years old. When you have sex for the first time, it is highly important that both you and your partner feel safe and that the sex is consensual. To read more about consent,Click here

What is consent and why is it important?

To consent to something means saying ‘yes’ or agreeing to something. Informed consent means making an informed voluntary decision. When consenting, both persons should feel that they have equal power in the relationship and is not pressured to consent by the other person.

Consent includes knowing and respecting one’s own boundaries as well as the boundaries of others. Sexual consent means both partners agree to the sexual activity and understand what they’re agreeing to. Sexual consent is about a person’s right to make their own choice about sexual activity.

Consent is the foundation of a sexual relationship. Consent must be given for every sexual activity, every time.

Important Points about Sexual Consent:

1. Consent is freely given. Agreeing to do something is consent only if it’s voluntary.
2. No’ always means ‘no’ whether given verbally or non-verbally. A lack of affirmative positive, freely given ‘yes’ is also a ‘no’.
3. A ‘yes’ isn’t consent if someone is coerced. Examples of coercion are if the person pressures, pesters, threatens, guilt trips, blackmails, intimidates, bullies, or harasses the other person.
4. Consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. When someone is consenting, they agree wholeheartedly and are confident in their decision to consent. Both the body language and verbal language should give the same affirmative message.
5. Consent is agreed upon by both partners, and with a clear understanding of what they’re agreeing to.
6. The person who initiates the sexual contact or who wants to move to the next level of intimacy is responsible for asking for—and clearly receiving—consent before continuing with the sexual contact.
7. A consent conversation includes asking and answering.
8. When there’s consent, both people feel safe and comfortable. Safety and comfort (with themselves, their body, their partner and the situation) create an environment where both people can freely take part in all aspects of the consent conversation.
9. For consent to happen, a person needs to be given the chance to say ‘no’.
10. Consent is ongoing: One person asks permission for an activity and another person gives it. This conversation needs to continue as the activity continues or changes.
11. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. At any point, people can change their mind and withdraw consent. Consent given in the past doesn’t apply to any activities that happen later. A person might give their consent initially and then moments later change their mind and retract their consent. This is perfectly normal and should be respected by the other part.
12. Consent can’t be assumed because people are in a relationship nor should it be assumed if there was previous sexual activity. Permission must be asked for and given for an activity to proceed.
13. Consent can’t be assumed or implied. Flirting, clothing, sexual texts or social media communication aren’t consent.
14. Communication that’s unclear or confusing isn’t consent. If there’s any uncertainty that someone is agreeing to do something, the person initiating the activity must ask permission and wait until permission is clearly given before proceeding.
15. Silence or not responding isn’t consent.
16. Not physically resisting isn’t consent.
17. People who are drunk, high, sleeping or unconscious can’t give consent, either legally or practically. To have clear communication about consent, both people should be sober and alert.